Night Warrior

I do this thing sometimes where I stay up until the wee hours of the morning thinking about my future. But honestly I dont just think..I search for inspiration, research possibilities, make pro/con lists, I create plans with multiple options and I feel like I can do it all. My head becomes filled with ideas of a life I want to come true with this plan I’m sure will get me there. All of my fears are warded off, my doubts are nonexistent, my confidence is through the roof, I cannot and will not lose..I am a warrior.

4AM right in the thick of it, my dreams come to reality and all the hard work I put into this life will pay me what I’m owed. I’ve found happiness with just living and that is my ultimate goal..then shimmer from the sunlight starts to peak through my curtains and suddenly I feel doubt. I scour my plan looking for flaws, yep there they are. Fear driven thoughts break off pieces of the plan little by little, I am not capable, I am not good enough, my talents are dull, my confidence is lowered..what happened to the warrior?

The sun is supposed to provide me life but I feel strongest when it’s gone, when the city calms and the lights go out. The night is my day and that’s where the warrior is. Eventually I will figure out how to hold on to it no matter what time it is, at least I know its there.

In the meantime..good morning.

Love Nita